Wabi-Sabi Relationship Philosophy Document

Description

  1. Overview
    1. Wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of impermanence, a concept integrated into daily life in Japan.
    2. It is the principle of accepting the imperfection and temporary nature of all that resides in the world.
    3. Wabi-sabi is about appreciating the beauty of the incomplete, the impermanent, and the imperfect.
    4. Applied to relationships, wabi-sabi means accepting that relationships are dynamic, never the same, forever growing, and slowly decaying.
  2. Core Concepts
    1. “Wabi” refers to the feeling of solitude that comes from living in nature.
    2. “Sabi” refers to the beauty of aging, like the changing hue of the wood.
    3. Key attributes of wabi-sabi include asymmetry, modesty, growth, natural decay, slow process, fluid, natural, minimal, rustic, dignified, and unfinished.
  3. Application To Relationships
    1. A wabi-sabi relationship is unpolished, modest, forever growing and slowly decaying, minimal and dignified, fluid and sometimes unfinished.
    2. It revolves around three things: acceptance that nothing is permanent, respect for the fragility of your relationship, and appreciation of the imperfections.
  4. Acceptance That Nothing Is Permanent
    1. Relationships are programmed to decay; accepting this truth is key to overcoming frustration.
    2. Impermanence is everywhere, observable in the flow of breath, cycles of emotions, seasons, and the dance of the moon and sun.
    3. Happiness equals reality minus dreams; happiness resides in the gap between reality and dreams.
    4. Relationships begin to decay at the exact moment they start; they are more like a time bomb.
    5. Relationships are not permanent and are forever fluid, slowly decaying; the passing of time will shape your relationship.
    6. Wabi-sabi teaches you to appreciate that your relationship is impermanent and to find contentment in this.
  5. Respect For What Is Fragile
    1. Everybody knows that relationships are fragile; anything can break a relationship, such as bankruptcy, illness, insecurities, infidelity, the birth of a baby, or infertility.
    2. Your partner is also fragile; trauma might have shaped them, and your words and actions will impact them.
    3. You are fragile too, and it is part of the wabi-sabi of humans and relationships.
    4. Only by acknowledging that relationships are fragile can we respect them, give them our attention, and work towards a thriving one.
  6. Appreciation Of The Imperfections
    1. Love the messiness of your relationship; appreciate the uniqueness of one another.
    2. Let your relationship be a living place, not a showroom; it is natural and imperfect and does not have to be always happy and polished.
    3. When you appreciate the ups and downs of your relationship, you can find contentment in it.
    4. When you appreciate the imperfections of your partner instead of passing judgment, you are honoring the history and beauty of someone’s imperfection.
    5. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold; it is based on the idea that by embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful, unique, and resilient piece of art.
    6. Kintsugi perfectly illustrates how to apply wabi-sabi on something broken; you can reuse the old and make it new.
    7. Once you perfectly accept another one’s imperfection, you also give space to them to accept the real, rustic, fluid, and unfinished you.
    8. Bond through these imperfections and practice appreciating them; love the characteristics that make a person unique.